the best ricotta cookie recipe you will ever try. ever.

1/2 tub Smart Balance butter spread
2 eggs
1 lb ricotta cheese you need to get rid of ASAP
1 3/4 cups white sugar
approx 1/4 cup brown sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 container Activia vanilla yogurt
4 c flour
chocolate jimmies
some alcoholic beverages

Preheat oven to 350. Take a sip of beverage.

Beat eggs and butter using a large serving spoon and a small teaspoon. Add ricotta and white sugar. After realizing you do not have all 2 cups of white sugar needed, throw brown sugar into mix until you think you've made up for the missing 1/4 cup. Take another sip and repeatedly ignore your roommate's suggestion to scrape the pink sugar off a package of Peeps.

With your drink in hand, do a Google search for effective baking powder substitutes. Assume one container of Activia = 1/2 cup of yogurt. Add yogurt & baking soda; eyeball salt.

Slowly add in about 3 2/3 cups of flour. Sprinkle the remaining 1/3 cup onto the table, the floor, the open container of ricotta, etc. Throw in vanilla and do a quick taste test to make sure everything checks out.

Drop dough by rounded spoonfuls, about the size of a tennis ball, onto a lightly greased baking sheet. If the dough is too sticky, add more flour by the fistful until it has at least somewhat of a shape-able consistency. Drop as much dough as possible onto the burners of the stovetop. Laugh so hard that you become genuinely concerned about the possibility of peeing in the kitchen trash can.

Bake cookies for 10-15 minutes or until golden brown. Continue to work on your drink and watch in awe as the giant globs of dough flatten out to resemble small cakes. If you choose not to ignore the lightbulb that is about to go off in your head, continue to the next paragraph.

Heat a small skillet on high; spray with cooking spray. Take the cookie dough and spoon it onto the skillet in the shape of a pancake. Flip as needed. If you flip the cookie pancake too early, simply pile all the dough back together in an attempt to repair it. Add chocolate jimmies to batter if desired.

Forget about tomorrow's BIO320 exam. Forget about student teaching observations. Forget about work, forget about internships, forget about the real world. Eat. Drink. Laugh. Repeat.

Makes about 24 large cookies and 4 pancakes.

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