4.30.2009

wrong way

Yesterday I went for a run and noticed that the ear buds I have had hooked into my iPod for a while now have officially bit the dust. My roommate let me borrow hers and when I came back telling her how great they worked, she told me that I could find them cheap at Staples. Being the brilliant college student that I am, I decided this ear bud situation was an emergency (I sleep with my iPod on most nights and use it to block outside noise while doing work) and warranted an 8 PM field trip with two of my roommates to the Staples next to Target on Lincoln St. Twice, I took a wrong turn to get there--note that I've been to this shopping plaza millions of times before. I could tell you how to get there in my sleep.

Both times, the wrong turn I was taking was in the opposite direction of Staples and would eventually lead me to I-290, which is the way home. Yes. I subconsciously attempted to kidnap my roommates and go home. Twice.

Here's the thing--These past few days, I've gotten a lot accomplished. I pulled together a final project for my physics class on freakin' liquid crystals after having absolutely no idea what they did. I held it together and patiently got through a consortium registation fiasco that could have left me short of a pre-req for potential grad schools. I wrote a kick-ass paper on a book I only had 24 hours to read, secured a spot on the leadership team as vice present for a student organization I'm involved in, and I'm enjoying a seemingly smooth finish to my junior year of college. I have a lot to be proud of, and I am proud of myself.

I'm content with the way things are going right now, but I'm not as happy as I should be.

You know that worried feeling that sits in your stomach when you feel like you're forgetting something, or something's missing or otherwise just not right? That's how I feel right now. Something is out of place,and I have this feeling that I'm teetering on the edge of keeping it all under control or just losing it at any second over something stupid. I'm extra sensitive to people's words and actions when I shouldn't be. And I'm sorry in advance if I let go on someone who doesn't deserve it.

Yeah, I wish I was home right now. If I could pick any place in the world to go right this second, that's where I would be, because maybe the relief I'd feel from being home and being done with school for a while would flush out this wierd worried feeling and I can really be happy with everything I've done.

Guess I should have picked a more convenient time to start making wrong turns, so that maybe I could just keep driving straight to where I wish I was instead of having to reverse directions.

No comments:

Post a Comment

what do you have to say?